I Hate Asking For Referrals

I hear it all the time.  “I hate asking for referrals”.  While I understand the comment I think the real issue is that FAs hate how they feel when they ask for referrals.  The basic feeling that most FAs have is fear.  The definition of fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Fear to an FA is:

  • Clients will say no.
  • Clients will think the FA’s business is in trouble.
  • The relationship will be damaged.

I would ask you to look at referrals through a different prism.

  • Clients will say no.  My experience is that clients don’t say no.  They say, “I can’t think of anyone”.  When they say they can’t think of anyone, that is what they mean.  They don’t get up in the morning and wonder how they can give you a referral.  When you have a referral conversation with a client you are giving them a test for which they have not been able to prepare.
  • Clients will think the FA’s business is in trouble.  If your attorney told you that she had capacity for additional clients would your first thought be that her practice was in trouble?  Your first thought would probably be that she is trying to grow the practice.
  • The relationship will be damaged.  I have never been made aware of a client who transferred their relationship after they were asked for a referral.

If you looked at your top 20 relationships you will probably find that the majority have been with you for five years or more.  If they didn’t like and trust you they would leave.  Give them an opportunity to help you.

Three more thoughts:

  1.  Bill Cates classic book, Get More Referrals Now, will help you if fear is hampering your ability to ask for referrals.  You won’t agree with all of Bill’s thoughts but you will find real “gems” that you will use.
  2. If you get into a referral conversation with a client and they can’t think of anyone who would fit in your practice, there is a very professional and comfortable way to end the conversation – “Thanks for thinking about it.  Just know I am never too busy to help people like you.”
  3. At Supernova we help you navigate this change of behavior and help you significantly grow your business.
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